Zoey is all about romance in this week’s grown-ish, but her player-antics might blow up in her face. Full recap of “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late” by @luvthispayne.
We are back y’all! I’ve been waiting for this all week and this week’s episode did not disappoint. Let’s just get straight to it.
Last week we left off with Zoey getting a “u up” text from BaeRon (pronounce this as Bae-ryyyyyyynnnnnnn in Teyanna Taylor’s voice) Zoey promptly, like damn girl can you even wait 5 minutes, responded yeah. Well since that night, Sis has gotten at least two other “u up” texts from Aaron and her first kiss. Wait. Her. First. Kiss. Awwwww, all the damn feels. Buuuuut her first kiss and she’s in love. I canna. If the first kiss has her in love, lawd don’t let her get the …… *loses signal*
So about these “u up” texts, Zoey is all kinds of confused. The first couple of times she got them, she responded and it led to her and Aaron fooling around. We don’t really know what fooling around means, other than maybe some kissing and heavy petting as the old folks would say. I am really showing my age with that one lol SHUT UP!!! GET OFF MY LAWN!
Zoey needs some help sorting out how to feel so she calls a girls gathering in the middle of the night but the opinions are about as mixed and varied as a bag of trailmix. One the one hand, the twins believe that if Zoey responds to yet another “u up” text from Aaron that it basically insinuates that she’s a hoe and DTF (if you don’t know what that stands for, google it. I won’t do everything for you). I mean it is 2:30am.
Then you have Nomi (thank God for Nomi), who assures her that if she responds its because she wants to. And there is nothing wrong with a booty call, especially if y’all both want the booty. Nomi tries to explain that there is nothing wrong with a young woman exploring her sexuality and having the desire same as a man. Okay. GIRL!
Then there’s Ana who simplistically believes that the texts are just because he’s thinking about her, and that’s why Aaron is texting her at 2:30am. I would think her naivete was cute if she wasn’t doling out terrible ass advice.
Did someone say terrible advice, the entire discussion of the texts brings up another problem. Zoey doesn’t exactly know what hooking up means. She mentions that she responds to the text because she just wants to hookup with Aaron. She thinks hooking up means just hanging out. Look I ain’t that old but even I know hooking up has always meant two bodies doing the vertical tango. Zoey’s not the only one who doesn’t know what it means because Ana volunteers that she hooked up with her Uncle just last night at his hotel and it didn’t include anything sexual. Someone please call Child Protective Services.
Ultimately, Zoey decides to play the long game and figures that not responding to Aaron’s text at all might just work in her favor because she’ll make him wait. Let’s just go ahead and crown Zoey #MissTeamBadDecisions2018 of Cal U because I swear it’s been one dumb decision after another. But thats college I guess.
The next day Zoey has blown Aaron off but she has to see him in class because they sit right next to each other. In class and Sis is giving him the cold shoulder and at first it seems to be working because he is laying on compliments HEAVY! I’m all cheering like okay girl, you got him right where you want him. But as soon as Zoey starts to feel her little self, Aaron leaves class early with a new bae of his own. We don’t know his other chick is but Zoey is seething with envy and hateration and holleration in the dancery.
Girl that’s what happens when you out here playing more games than Jigsaw. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Zoey needs a new plan to get Aaron back and lord I wished her friends or at least her roommate was around before she launched her plan. Sis texts Aaron and when he doesn’t respond immediately she goes into text diarrhea. Send HALP! Sis is spiraling out of control and I am HOLLERING IN MY HOUSE, OH GOD STOP!
Zoey starts texting everything from songs to asking for joint checking accounts and baby names. I mean, all she didn’t send was a Marvin’s Room, I’m just saying you can do better text. My god, I cringed thinking about just how many texts she sent and how embarrassingly awful they all were. What’s worse is that Aaron’s response was literally “Please stop.”
At this point, death really is her only option because I mean she looks NUTS. Like certified nuts. If I was Aaron, I’d be considering a restraining order. Given her humiliation, Zoey feels that the most logical way to get over one man is to get under another. Makes perfect sense.
Who’s the new bae, Luca! Yes, the WEEKDAY is about to be her new 9-5 and Weekend. Now I genuinely can’t tell if Zoey is truly feeling Luca, which it seems like she is, or if she’s just spending time with him to occupy herself and make Aaron jealous. If it’s the first, then obviously, I am pro-Zoey, girl get your Luca on. If it is the latter, then girl DO BETTER!
My gut tells me its the latter because no long after she and Luca start getting cozy, Aaron pops back into her life and now she’s balancing two BAES! This doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out in her favor because let’s be real we’ve seen Zoey’s multi-tasking skills and they suck. Last time she tried juggling things she ended up mildly addicted to adderall.
For a minute things seem to be going well. I mean she’s keeping her calendar tight, avoiding pics with them both, and geo-tagging locations so there are no run ins. Sidenote: the fact that this geotagging is a thing is scary as all hell and millennials frighten me. Also just binged black mirror so lowkey all technology frightens me.
But back to Zoey, there’s only so long Sis can try and keep both balls in the air before they come crashing down on her head. Crash and burn. Now y’all know that Luca and Aaron been arguing since day ONE in Dr. Telphy class. Not only is oey balancing two men but she’s doing so with two men who cannot STAND EACH OTHER. This is messy and I love it.
Zoey gets caught facetiming Aaron while on skype with Luca. They see each other and it’s an immediate roast fest. Aaron said that Luca looked like Willow Smith and I am pretty sure that my ghost is writing this recap because last night I died. Total help me sing. Anyway, the biggest loser in all of this ends up being Zoey because both the guys find out about each other and both want nothing to do with her. Yeah well she earned it. Now Zoey’s a ball of confused mess. While sulking we meet another character, Dean Parker.
Dean Parker takes the time to give his troubled student a few pearls of wisdom about relationships; mainly about communication and honesty. After their chat, Zoey is feeling better about how to move forward and vows that she’ll be more honest with herself those she’s dating. More importantly, she resolves that she is going to try and focus more on why she’s college in the first place; her education. I am beaming with pride. The baby is growing up and learning life lessons and look at her.
It doesn’t last long because like 8 hours later, she meets a new guy named Cash, and got damnit if we ain’t right back where we started. Is Cash just going to be another ploy in her plot to woo Aaron, chile probably. Hey, Cash boo though. He’s a chocolate cutie.
Will our girl end up with more egg on her face? I seriously hope not because I really want #MissBadTeamBadDecisions2018 to give her crown to someone else. But we’ll just have to wait until next week to see what happens! See you then.