Jesse knows that Angelville is no place for Cassidy, but when has Cass ever listened to Jesse? Things get dark for both of them. Here’s our recap of “Gonna Hurt”!
“Gonna Hurt” opens with Tulip rolling into NOLA, and she’s not playing around as she busts her way into The Grail headquarters. Everyone is already gone, though.
On her way back home, she gets pulled over by God on a motorcycle (with a woman companion on the back). He looks just like fake God, though…
God tells her that he’s proud of her for doing what she did, but Tulip doesn’t understand because it messed things up and kept Jesse in Angelville. How can she have done something right when Jesse lost Genesis again?
It turns out that it was all God’s design…and he didn’t want Jesse to have Genesis. In fact, it’s all part of his plan.
The way God looks.
The way Tulip screwed up.
Jesse being stuck.
That was by design.
God was counting on Tulip screwing up (the O’Hare curse), and allowing Starr to get away with Jesse’s soul. He tells her that it’s free will that allowed her to make this happen, and free will can be a curse.
After he walks away, Tulip gets out of the car and asks him what his big design is since it doesn’t make sense.
“I’m planning a test. The future of creation.”
“Oh yeah. What kind of test?”
Tulip calls him on his bullshit and tells him he’s down here to screw around. That’s when he pulls out his true self and blasts Tulip back into the bumper of her car. God gets on his bike and leaves.
“Yeah, you better run! You better hide. Because I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna kick your ass.”
God is totally avoiding his responsibilities it seems.
Back at Madame L’Angelle’s, T.C. stitches up Cassidy’s gunshot wound. They really bond over the drugs he’s taking for the pain, and T.C. eventually gets the bullet out. T.C. tells him that he should be dead, and in his loopy state, Cassidy goes into details about all the ways he should be dead.
“If irony had a patron saint.” That’s Cassidy for you.
“With all the cuts and stabs and bullets, why ain’t you dead?”
Cassidy avoids the question by getting T.C. to bring him some food. While T.C.’s gone, Cassidy drinks some blood that was in a lunchbox and his wound closes up.
He really needs to be careful with these people and healing.
Tulip tells Jesse about God’s visit, and Jesse wonders about why God sought out Tulip and not him. They figured it’s because God is scared of Genesis and the power behind it. I imagine that’s a good guess. With Genesis, Jesse may be able to send God back to Heaven.
Jesse tells Tulip that he’s stuck there no matter what, though. That’s when Tulip tells Jesse that she’s going to deal with his grandma. She’s just an old woman after all, but Jesse rolls over on top of her and tells her not to go near his grandma.
“So am I.”
They kiss, but Jody busts into the room and throws the moment off. Jesse slams the door in his face, and gets dressed because he’s going to church. Tulip isn’t impressed by this at all.
In the kitchen, Jesse runs into Jody again.
“I’m sorry if I interrupted something up there.”
“You don’t look sorry.”
“What do I look like?”
T.C. starts talking to both of them about Cassidy, and Jody’s very interested in why he’s healing so fast. Could this finally be what gives him away??
Jody and Jesse head out for church, but before he leaves, Jesse tells Tulip again to sit tight and not go near his grandma.
Jesse makes another quick stop before he leaves to talk to Cassidy. He tells Cassidy that he needs to lay low. T.C. and Jody can’t find out he’s a vampire. Then he tells him that he’s right about Tulip and her not needed to be there.
“The truth is Cass, you’re my best friend.”
I don’t know if he means it, or if he’s using this to get to Cassidy so that he’ll feel loyal to him later. He should mean it, though. Cassidy has done a hell of a lot of Jesse.
Jesse tells him that he has to get out of here. That he’s seen the people and the pictures, and if he stays, they’ll burn him alive. We get a brief flashback to Cass looking at the illustrations on the walls from the previous day.
“I’m a vampire in voodoo Disneyland. I should be there main attraction!”
When it becomes obvious that Cassidy isn’t scared about what could happen, Jesse stabs him in the shoulder to reopen the wound the blood closed. Then he takes the rest of the blood.
“If you’re gonna stay, it’s gonna hurt.”
Cassidy can’t heal or show any sign of being a vampire or they’re going to kill him. Since he won’t leave without Tulip, he’s going to have to lay off the blood.
Jody and T.C. open the door at the screams, and Jesse tells them that Cassidy isn’t healing as fast as they thought, but Jody doesn’t seem convinced.
Jesse leaves, and Tulip goes snooping around Gran’ma’s room. She finds the baby picture of Jesse that his Gran’ma cut out of his mom, and she eats something out of one of the dishes. Why in the world she’d eat something in that place is beyond me, but here we are.
Tulip picks up a phone on a side table, but it’s all staticky until a voice asks:
“What do you want?”
In a bunch of drawers, Tulip finds clothes of people’s blood. All of which I’m sure Madame L’Angelle used at some point to control people.
Finally, Tulip sees a tube hanging off the couch and then a hand falls down. This is definitely where Jesse’s Gran’ma sleeps, and she’s in bad shape.
Outside the room, Tulip asks T.C. how Cassidy is, and he says there was a setback, but he’s stitched up now. Then Tulip calls him back and she says she’s changed her mind about his dingle.
God help us all.
Jesse shows up at the “church”, but it’s more of an AA meeting. Some guy is giving his testimony about being sober and relapsing. After he’s done, Jesse talks to him and we finally see how Jesse gets souls to his Gran’ma.
He tells this man that Madame L’Angelle is open again, but the guy is really interested in The Tombs. So much so that he’s hyped until Jesse tells him that they’re not open yet. The man tells him that if he really wants to be sober, he’ll just go to Madame Boyd instead.
When Jesse gets into the truck, he tells Jody that he’s out of practice, but he’ll get better. Then he asks Jody why he still works for Miss Marie. After all the things she did to you. To Christina?”
Then he asks Jody to help him get away, not for his sake, but for Christina’s.
Jody hits Jesse for mentioning Christina again. I’m suddenly interested in just how close Jody wanted to be with her, and if he blames Madame L’Angelle for her death. I mean, he’s definitely an abusive, bad guy, but can Jesse pull this string?
At T.C.’s place, and Tulip is looking at his dick. He asks if she wants to touch it, but she tells him that she’s okay. Then she strokes his ego instead, saying that she figured that he’d be the one to know what goes on around there. T.C. explains what’s holding Jesse there.
A blood debt contract.
“A solemn exchange of promises between parties.”
Tulip simplifies things and says that you can either pay the debt or just burn the napkins, and that’s when T.C. calls her slippery.
“I was just asking questions.”
“The wrong kind.”
To prove his point, T.C. tells Tulip a story….
A man showed up wanting his wife’s napkin. He would have given anything to get it back and out of Miss Marie’s hands, but when the guy got it back and ripped it in half, it actually ripped his wife in half.
“The debt is only paid when Miss Marie says it is. I understand you wanna help little Jesse, but if you’re thinking about messing with Miss Marie, don’t.”
Tulip squeezes T.C.’s dick hard, but he tells her that he can’t tell her how to break the curse because unless Tulip knows voodoo or a spell, there’s nothing that can be done.
With a nod to what God said about curses, specifically the O’Hare curse, Tulip tells him that curses can be broken.
Then she leaves him and there’s a baby gator attached to his dick. I don’t even know.
Cassidy goes and sees Gran’ma because this is always a good idea.
“You must be a witch or something like that.”
“No, I’m a healer.”
In true Cassidy fashion, he asks why she hasn’t healed herself yet. She tells him that she’s working on it. After some small talk, the truth comes out, Cassidy wants a love spell.
“I’m not leaving without her.”
OH SNAP. This is not how things happen, Cassidy. Please don’t. You’re better than this.
Tulip goes to Madame Boyd’s because she really needs help, and who better than the people who obviously hate the L’Angelle’s and also know how to break curses.
She leaves her phone in the car and goes to visit.
By the time Jesse and Jody come back, Cassidy is in the foyer, and he has the love potion. Jody is suspicious that Cassidy is up and around. Gran’ma is pissed that Jesse didn’t bring back anyone.
“It’s gonna take time to undo all you did by running off.”
Gran’ma doesn’t care about his plans, and if he’s in a hurry, he can start up The Tombs. When Jesse tells her no, she slaps him and says:
“You’re gonna do what you’re told.”
She even mentions throwing him back in the coffin. This is a nod to the one he was banished to as a boy until he came to his senses about staying in Angelville after his dad’s murder.
Before the scene ends, Gran’ma casually mentions that Cassidy came by to talk, but she doesn’t tell him about what…
In his hut, T.C. is picking stuff out of the baby gator’s mouth, when he hears Cassidy attack a chicken. He sees him sucking its blood and pulls a gun on him.
“I know there was something curious about you.”
Cassidy tells him not to say anything, but T.C. yells for Jody. Then he knocks out Cassidy.
They both send for Jesse, and he realizes what they’re doing with Cass all tied up and hanging from a tree.
“I told you it wasn’t safe for you.”
To save Cassidy, Jesse proposes an alternative.
At Madame Boyd’s, Tulip tells the assistant her problem and is brought to the back room to meet the head woman. She’s sitting in a chair and shrouded in darkness. Instead of her speaking, the assistant asks about the blood compact.
“How did Jesse get into this blood compact?”
Tulip realizes that they have her trapped since she never mentioned Jesse, and she won’t go down without a fight. She beats up the bodyguard then jumps out a window, only to be thrown back in. That’s when the body in the chair falls down and it’s a corpse.
The assistant drops down beside Tulip, and that’s when everything falls into place.
“You’re Madame Boyd.”
“And you’re Tulip O’Hare. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time.”
At The Tombs, Jesse has opened it up for business. He has a top hat and everything. It’s insane.
“A pedophile science teacher versus a back-stabbing, piece of shit vampire.”
Soooo…the The Tombs is actually a fight to the death with all the people that owe Madame L’Angelle a debt.
Cassidy isn’t about to fight, but the science teacher comes at him with a chainsaw, and all bets are off.
WHOA. Things just went to a twelve on Preacher! What did you think about “Gonna Hurt”? What will happen to Tulip and Cassidy next week?