This week Desna & co. are finally able to put the suspicions around Roller’s death to bed… or are they? Full recap of this week’s Claws by @luvthispayne.
Chickens Coming Home to Roost…
Welcome back peeps! Feels like the last episode was a lifetime ago, especially after all the drama this week. Let’s get into it.
Last week we left off with Bryce having the not so bright idea that Dr. Ken murdered Roller. Bryce in all his lack of brilliance then decides that he’s gonna kidnap Dr. Ken and kill him. Raise your hand if you think Bryce is actually gonna do this well …… seeing none raised, I’ll move on. Sure as the sun shines during the day and the moon at night, Bryce f***s this up. Bryce has driven Ken to the swamp and Desna, who is hot on his trail calls Jenny Not From The Block and asked where he could possibly be. Jenn lets Desna know that all the dirt goes down in the swamp. So she scoops Jenn and they head to that way.
Meanwhile at the swamp, Bryce who’s so damn dumb that he’s just a talking and sure enough Ken recognizes his voice. Jinkies. (Side note: if you don’t get the reference, you’re too young for this recap sweetie). So Bryce telling Ken to shut up because Ken done guessed its him. I swearfogawd he so damn stupid he makes my head hurt.
In true Bryce fashion, he gets scared by a damn bird. A. Bird. El oh el. Then Ken runs off and thankfully he does just as Desna and Jenn arrive. Desna and Jenn join the fun as Bryce is holding Dr. Ken at gun point while simultaneously shaking like a salt shaker. Desna has to beg and throw herself in front of his gun to keep him from doing something awful that we all know Mr. Power Hour of Inspiration would regret. So glad our girl knows the power of persuasion. I won’t even mention Bryce’s Niagara Falls tears moment after he realizes he doesn’t have the chutzspah to pull the trigger. Ken just gotta run away from home. Like I would never want to see any of them again, they seem like hella trouble. But we all know Dr Ken doesn’t enjoy the gift of good sense.
The next day, at the salon we find Ms. Polly Pocket getting her wax game on. Brazilian game crazy. Just so we clear, in this shop, they can thread, wax, do nails, and give massages. I mean and launder money, but who’s really keeping track of that. These chicks hella talented. Anyway Polly Pocket done pulled the woman clit off and she crying out in agony. I’m not really sure I’d let Polly wax any part of my body to be very honest. Love her though.
Desna comes in and gives an update regarding the Brysis from the day before and everyone is just relieved Bryce didn’t go through with it. Speaking of Bryce, he and Jenn are coming from a meeting and he mentions needing to go see Uncle Daddy. Have you learned nothing?Bryce. Bryce. Jenn so desperate to keep Bryce away from Uncle Daddy that she’s offering anal and peanut butter and jelly and I just am sad all over. I never wanted any part of this conversation. Jenn pulled out the best offer she could make and that was it. I am upset. Someone come collect me please. The ONLY good thing to come out of this conversation? YOU ALREADY KNOOOOWWWWWW. Jenn revealed that she has another baby daddy? Why is this important? If you’ve read my recaps you damn well know why its important!!! I have figured out the origins of the black child. I might be side eyeing them for making Jenn’s black baby daddy be in prison, but I knew that child was black!
Next, Desna heads to check out a new salon. Y’all know our girl never loses sight of her end goal; especially since she’s paid back Uncle Daddy. But this salon is not anywhere as nice as the last one that she looked at. Its meh. While on the tour with Mandy (her husband is a complete douche, what is a perfect weight. BOY BYE) she gets a call from Carl the Chatty. Apparently, Dean done flipped his shit and is on top of a billboard and Desna better come get him before the cops do. Once she gets there we see its a billboard featuring the Coombs, the people we learned abused Desna and Dean in last week’s episode.
Let me take this moment to point out that I thought this episode was incredibly political. It starts with the phone call to Desna. Carl says that if Desna doesn’t want to see Dean shot up on the news, she’d better get there soon. This seemed like a nod to the upward trend in police murders of people with mental illness. There were a few other moments that felt subtly political as well. For example, a very apathetic Dean in the throws of feeling powerless buys a gun during this episode and gets off some practice shots. Desna asks Dean where the hell he could get a gun and didn’t anyone check him. Dean explains that he purchased the gun with ease from a sports shop. I don’t know if this was the statement episode, but TNT, I see you.
Dean is still very much traumatized by the treatment he received in foster care and Desna doesn’t seem to know how to deal. In true fashion, she thinks she can handle it alone. Her crew is tryna convince her that Dean is high functioning and may fair better in a group home setting. Desna ain’t having it. Miss. Ann said more during this conversation than she’s said probably in all the episodes combined. She knows how to make her words count. But Desna has legitimate fears about the dangers of just placing Dean in a group home; this episode was hella political.
Of course any time they’re having a moment, its always interrupted by Uncle Daddy. Always. He tells Desna he needs to see her and Virginia Wolf asap. Oh lord, wonder what this is about. Jenn decides to tag along because every body in her family been cutting up. Sure enough, it ain’t good. See somebody told somebody else that Roller was swerving with Miss I Just Want Y’all to Like Me and Desna at the same damn time. Apparently they say they saw Desna arguing with Virginia over Roller. Annnnnnnnnd the person who killed Roller took 50k from his safe. WHAT DID YOU DO VIRGINIA? Ever Ree Time. Every single time I try to give Virginia a chance, she do something else.
This revelation about the missing money is news to everybody, including Desna. She has to confront Virginia about it because here we go again? Like how many times are we going to have to ask what else, what now with Virginia? She tells Desna that she tried to make it look like a robbery and the CLAWS really come out as Virginia seems like she’s heard one too many china doll/Saigon jokes. Oop.
Bryce’s mom thinks they know more than they ‘re letting on. I need her to mind her business and worry about her own man. Ugh. Anyway, Desna, Jenn and Virginia all go their separate ways and back at Desna place, guess who? Roller byke in her nightmares. Seriously, Desna has like the worst case of tell tale heart and I am sick of her too lol
But Virginia, oh Virginia had the guest to end all GUESTS; MISS POLLY DAMN POCKET. Bayyyyyyyyeh! Ms. Polly Pocket done broke in Virginia house, baked cupcakes and waited for her to come home. Her reason for visiting unannounced in the middle of the night? To let Virginia know undeniably that she “will cut a bitch” if Virginia’s mess blows back on Desna. See Polly is a criminal mastermind and Virginia is the nail tech version of legally blonde without the triumphant acceptance into law school; or any school. Polly can detect a lie a mile away. She should be able to. She tells more lies than married a man whose wife is out of town. I can’t. Virginia is shooketh and I am here for this threat because Virginia diarrhea mouth gone get her and Desna killed.
Polly is taunting Virginia the next day at the salon and I love it. Messy. Messy. Lawd. This is golden. Dean is out with his trainer looking all adorable and his trainer is unknowingly encouraging him to go confront his foster parents. Chile fix it. Fix it somebody. This does not sound like a good idea. Dean rolls into the shop and demands that Desna take him to see them.
They confront the Coombs at their open house and at first they pretend not to recognize Desna and Dean because there are potential buyers inside the house. Once everyone leaves, the full fledged b**** comes out of Mrs. Coombs raggedy self. Desna and Dean storm out then Dean reveals that the Coombs’ used to have sex with him and threatened to do so with Desna if he ever said anything. I need a damn minute.
Desna needs a way to cope with the stress of all this plus Uncle Daddy getting closer on her trails. She decides to pin the murder of Roller on the Coombs.
They need someone who can break into a home so they can plant the money to truly frame them for the murder. Virginia knows just the person; Little Polly Pocket. Honestly, I’m glad because its one less person to hide this secret from. Plus we all know Polly the real brains behind any criminal scheme.
Polly Pocket looking svelte in her all black breaks in and plants the goods. LIKE A G! Even manages to clepto her way into a dildo. Polly has no shame. None. True to the plan, Desna calls in the murder. But her call is intercepted by our crooked detective who runs the info straight to Uncle Daddy. Of course Bryce dumb ass is sitting right there and gets conscripted to go “take care of it.” I was rooting for you Bryce. But here you go again.
Our girls are back at the salon when Mandy drops by to tell Desna that her dream salon is back on the market and they want to work with her. You know it’s now a party in the salon. Not so much at the Coombs’ because Uncle Daddy’s crew and Bryce are there and they kill em. Yes. Bryce actually murders two people. Shock and awe. R. I. nope never mind.
The episode then ends. J/K no it doesn’t. As if that wasn’t enough, y’all. Y’all. Y’all. Roller is alive and in some strange woman bed nursing a gunshot wound. How Sway?! What sorcery is this? Who did they find if they didn’t find Roller! I have questions.
But they will just have to wait. Yours too! What did you think this week? Until next time.
Twitter: @luvthispayne
